if youre ever a customer and you order off menu, fuck you

@pikachu “I come here all the time, everyone loves me! I know all the ‘secret menu’ items!”

*the entire staff lining up in the kitchen to spit in their food*

@sweetmercury anyone who thinks restaurants have "secret menus" are assholes who dont understand how the chef is bending over backwards to fix up their impossible order

@pikachu @sweetmercury True custome story. Drunk guy in cowboy hat walks into a pizza place. Demands pizza with lots of hot red pepper cuz he's from Tex-ass. Old Italian owner dumps entire bottle of red pepper on his order. He takes one bite, gags and runs out of place. Staff applaud wildly. The end.

@StevenDBT @sweetmercury running gag in our kitchen is a dude who ordered a pizza with pepperoni, but hadn't clarified if he meant the little pepperonis or the salami kind. So we put salami on his pizza, he comes to pick it up, leaves, calls back twenty minutes later and screams into the telephone "I HATE PEPPERONI SALAMI!!!!!!" so now we just yell that at each other whenever we're using it

@pikachu @StevenDBT when I started working the phones at a pizzeria years ago a guy called demanding a “chicken cutlet dinnah” so I was scanning the menu like “umm, you mean the chicken parm dinner portion?” And he’s like “CHICKEN. CUTLET. DINNAH! DONT MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE!”

Apparently the owner just constantly appeased this person but I had no idea at the time.

@pikachu @StevenDBT shockingly, this guy didn’t tip delivery drivers.

@sweetmercury there's this couple who come to our restaurant every other week or so and me and another girl were new working there and he literally refused to explain to us what he'd like. He'd be like "I'll have my pizza. Jana (my boss) knows which one" as if im not right there trying to take his order (which was extremely simple and he could've just told me from the start)

@pikachu but if he says it like that he can pretend to be a bigshot. At the place where you already go and have people hopping around to please you.

@sweetmercury fuuuuck those people. like this lady sees me for the very first time in her LIFE and she had the audacity to say "I'll have the wine i always have" like ma'am. i started working here two days ago i have never seen you before Ever

@pikachu like part of your training is being handed a dossier for all the “important” customers!

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