Pinned toot

by following me you're contractually obligated to like me and endorse my opinions

“today is the greatest day I’ve ever known”
-Billy Corgan, after he went on Infowars

I want one of my hands to be huge like a fuckin lobster claw

Kind of weird they called these guys boy eagles, or beagles. They don't even have wings.

AIR BUD'S DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Your honor, there's no rule in the Geneva Conventions saying a dog can't commit war crimes

The great flaw in modern liberalism is the idea that all your dreams can come true. No matter how hard I work, no matter how much education I get, I will never be used as a human dildo by a 40 foot tall woman with flaming red hair and boulder sized breasts

Me, screaming at Jon Arbuckle, pointing at Garfield: "That cat is exactly what you deserve, you complacent twerp! Fuck you Jon!"

Whenever you watch the news and you see two world leaders talking to each other but there's no audio of what they're saying, they are talking about anime.

just remembered the best wedding thank you card ive ever received

@dirt (x) other: kanzaki, because i fucking respect my admin

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