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plumbers are always like: if you gotta go while I’m working on the toilet, you can always just shit on my chest ;)

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the suns fuckin pointless bro i dont even look at that shit ha ha

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i'm drinkinbg silver so i can look like the blue guy from watch men

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man I just really fucking hate it when I get a crush on somebody and then I find out that they recruit boys into isis

Pinned toot

I hate when im trying to talk sexy, and then cleverbot fucks it up, making me lose my boner, and also? my mind. thanks for nothing

Mastodon: where you become mutual followers based on cute guinea pig pictures, and become close friends based on your shared loathing of the prison-industrial complex

The Sims: Total War! where you share a home with other ambassadors, and the tutorial stage forces you to live with a spartan in gym shorts who demands you pay him and you have to navigate conversation

dog eye contact Show more

the company director at work stood next to me at the urinal today and said "aaaah let's pee together shall we?"

i didn't mean to collect all these first names but i'm like a magnet being dragged on the ground, they stick to me

When someone named Mason is standing in a queue waiting to see a specialist about a genital question they have: Mason's dick's in line

blending the boundaries between We Live in a Society sadposting and flippant shitposting in a dangerous way; touch starvation, toxic masculinity Show more

If Steve Hawkings was so smart,, why didnt they invent a time machine to go back and win the lottery??? checkmate

how do you get a mentor. is a mentor a good thing to get or have

@Absolutely_Blakely
*jimmy stewart as a furry voice*
buh-buh-by golly, I'm gonna fuck Harvey if it's the last thing I do!

*jimmy stewart was a WWII US bomber pilot voice* "Haha bhombs awhay haha gee what a whonderful life eh??"

I like this movie despite being afraid of spiders

thinking about how often I say “pool water brain” or “rain water” or “head swimming” I don’t get it. I can swim just fine. what’s the hang up?

ridiculous, unrealistic, pool water filled brain behavior Show more

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Knzk.me

Knzk.me is Fast and Stable instance.
This instance isn't focused on any theme or subject, feel free to talk about whatever you want. Although the main languages are English and Japanese, We accept every single language and country.
Everyone is welcome as long as you follow our code of conduct!


Infrastructure and more details: /about/more

Status: status.knzk.me