Pinned toot

i really only exist online, if you find anything in real life resembling me, like an actual person with a face, as my mufo, i expect you to kill them. i am against any inconsistency about this and it upsets me greatly Thank you

bofa instance joke Show more

Another genderless insult you can use outside of Mastodon Show more

Me (Mastodon's Eric Garland):

Buckle up. Stay focused. Grind Hard. Get nasty with it. Family court. Partial custody? No. Live fast. Don't fake the funk on a nasty dunk. Cocaine.

I want to find out what a neural network would come up with if I fed it all of your credit card numbers.

drew this frog for school. based off frog picture on the right

Another one responded with "Bill Goldberg" so what I'm saying is we don't know what we want

mastodon needs its own eric garland and i think i could be the man for the job

If anyone would like a rom for the US version of Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon (the best platformer for N64) hmu in the DMs i'll send u a drive link

ain't no law that says i can't turn this chevy into a trebuchet

I suspect it dealt with leading a cult and getting away with evil shit

One time i asked a bunch of friends what their best example of a "man" was and one of them said "Charles Manson". To this day i have no idea what the fuck he meant

I dont delete my accounts.

I "prestige"

@healyn either the fridge is jerking him off or the director is telling a very different story than the one we received

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