this week's lectures at our venue in hell

Existential Philosophy of Kierkegaard and the Sonic Movie

Ludonarrative: How Dark Souls Recreated the Novel

Units of Laughter: Measuring Out Jokes, Bits, Routines, and Chunks

Getting To Know the People Around You On a Meaningful Level

making my fair share of mistakes only because i believe in equality, otherwise i would keep being perfect, happy, successful, and beloved

remember, the lava geysers are not your fault. you don't need to take the blame for the planetary meltdown into an acrid sizzleblaze. how were you supposed to stop the searing surge. are you some kind of pyromancer to prevent the earthburst erasure. everyone is dead and that's OK

got yelled at by my boss today for telling investors about the gorechasm we accidentally invoked into the basement. how else was i supposed to explain to them the stench and the screams and why our numbers kept dwindling over the course of the tour. gonna steal some pens to rebel

today's forecast is the weather is gone, it has finally escaped, will it ever return, how i wish it had taken me with it, let us light the saltfires and ululate/pray to the meteorological absence that we might not perish in these airless wastes

i'm the CTO of an awesome charity called Putting Plastic In the Pacific. for every dollar we raise, we put an incredible amount of plastic in the ocean. we strive to Make A Difference In The World

scientists have recently discovered that there may be as many as three times the amount of facts than was previously believed. "there's just a lot of facts," said dr. science coates

knocking on the other side of your bathroom mirror at 2am like "i'm here to install the wi-fi for your bloodstream"

I talked to my lover. I am not burning with lust.

— Ingish èzumegast, broker

HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS, TIP #48: chant "my filthy body is full of sin" until someone is sufficiently repulsed by your slimesplash gunkNo that they execute you. although you are now Destroyed, the earth will never be truly washed free of your Stain

wearing a parachute on this dive in case the ocean disappears

i love the c*rl s*gan quote about interstellar areas, "there is nothing above the Sun, the Sun is the absolute cosmic ceiling. it's so high up you can't even fathom. every day i look up at the sky and weep mucus knowing i will never embrace the Sun as its fury melts my hot flesh"

the year is 2474. land has long since sunken beneath the oceanlava. the ashstriders screech the Hunting Harsh as they close in on humanity's last ramshackle bastion. the Breathmaker is broken & we're suffocating on deathfumes. speculation mounts that Th*r*sa May could soon resign

most kids nowadays sever their fingers and swap them around with their friends. i don't understand it, maybe because i was born alongside the first Star, and together we stared deep into the soundless, incandescent cosmos blossoming, wondering What Would Become. why was it this

i think i would be really good at music, if i had been good at music, you know

wandering from store to store soaked in petrol wailing "hell o i would like to purchase" until someone finally Transacts me

i love the part of the Movie where all of my favorite characters crawl out of the screen and Nurture me. my whole life is transformed with the support of my screenpals, I Am Now The Person I've Always Wanted To Be, but only as long as i can keep soaking up these Scenes, my Dreams

please do not post memes, they're an invasive species that is destroying this ecosystem. if your supposed "friend" fiend wishes to anoint their body as a memevessel teeming with repetitive petitive pets, then you must swallow them whole, then encase your corrupted Bod in concrete

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