Pinned toot

If you get arrested (yeah yeah)
Here's what you say (hey hey)
"I'm not answering any questions and I want an attorney"
And here's what comes next
(30 seconds of dead silence)

Your schoolhouse rocksona is you if you starred in a folk-rock song dedicated to teaching children a concept

a lot of people will say "hey, that sounds really shitty and like an awful use of your time," to which i respond, why are all these other people doing it if it isnt deeply rewarding

thinking about becoming a shitty old man at the age of 19 and using social media to get mad about all those genders

eyelid thickening surgery so that i can shut my eyes and sleep in broad daylight

Tom Brady? More like Bom Trady - he's dealing arms to ISIS for deflated BALLS

Trying to come up with a post that’s like, “you’re either a top ramen or a bottom ramen or a switch ramen.” Idk

[corporate acapella meeting]

person 1: we all know tthat the guy who goes "badum bum bum bum badum bum bum" is the guy that fucks the most

person 2: yeah. the walking bassline guy

person 3: you're both wrong. it's actually the guy that goes "doo doo doo badoo doo"

person 2: oh shit. i forgot about that guy

writing advice;
- have fun
- respect your mother
- put more aliens in it
- also witches
- use 'words'

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