Turning 40 this week and the fact that I was in the hospital with a collapsed lung two weeks ago, makes me appreciate making it this far.

At least my conservative friends have remained consistently ignorant and hypocritical over the years.
Well, it's gotten excessive lately, but their trajectory has been smooth.

They must think my brain was broken in the same way. How could I become a socialist who wants to abolish ICE and the police state?

Same story with another long time friend.
Vocal anti-racist and Barack Obama supporter gets a job working for ICE and a few years later is complaining about how the agency is being restrained and how much disease is being brought in by migrants.

20 years ago I was a cop-respecting lib
My good friend was a cop-hating hippie
One year of working at a new job with ex-cops and now he's telling me how hard police officers have it these days.

Quality time with my Doctor today.
Diagnosed me as a weird looking dude who shouldn't lift weights or play competitive sports.
Worth the $20 co-pay, TBH.

My favorite meme subgenre that nobody else appreciates is Tarot memes.

DPRK stands for Donkey “Pretty Ricky” Kong

When a dog bites you, they're not being mean, they're just trying to get at the yummy bones inside you

Why is health insurance so important if all doctors do is tell me to stop eating so many nerf darts?

I posted an old picture of me dunking on Facebook which lead to a long discussion with my Highschool friends about basketball, which lead to my discovery that a classmate of mine had hung himself in prison years ago.

Beware of nostalgia my friends.

Welcome to the bunghole
We got Kevin James.
We got everything you want
As long as it's Kevin James.
We've got 'Paul Blart the Mall Cop,'
'Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2,'
We have the first 'Grown Ups,'
As well as 'Grown Ups 2!'
In the bunghole
Welcome to the bunghole!
Get on your

Bu bu bu bu bu bu butt butt butt

I can only get so far into my company's 401k meeting before I start taking "notes".

this post just about fucking killed me. I've been losing my mind at this for the past 20 minutes.

Halfway through singing "Happy Birthday" we began to notice the echos, much too loud and clear for a room that size. We looked at eachother, unsure if we should stop.
At the end, we realised none of us knew the name of who we were singing to. Or how we got to this McDonald's Playland.

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