Thinking about growing a foot and becoming an NBA center. Let me know what you think in the comments.

Weird how all these Astros pitchers have had sudden spikes in velocity. I’m sure there’s nothing to that.

if I was playing major league baseball i simply wouldnt strike out

The only thing standing in the way of my dreams is ribs

Imagine thinking of something funny. That would be a trip

can i suck myself? it isn't a question of ability, but of determination. the real question is when will i suck myself.

Uploading my consciousness onto a thumb drive and forgetting it in the fedex office printing center

In the ocean we measure things in crabs, and we just line up as many crabs as we can when we’re measuring something very large, such as myself. It’s kinda frustrating because crabs tend to be a bit wiggly but whatever, it’s more fun.

Extremely strange parental behavior Show more

Please Mister Postman, look and see
(Oh yeah)
If there's a letter in your bag for me
(Please, Please Mister Postman)
Why's it takin' such a long time
(Oh yeah)
To be poisoned with strychnine

White boys love putting exactly $40.00 of petrol in the car and pumping their fist when they nail it

walking into class, smoking a pipe, carrying atlas shrugged under my arm, and shitting effortlessly just all over the floor

I think the most Galaxy brained shit I’ve ever seen was a video my econ professor assigned which tried to argue that President Business from the LEGO Movie was a communist.

gently touching the face of Charles Entertainment Cheese and remembering better days


Show more is Fast and Stable instance.
This instance isn't focused on any theme or subject, feel free to talk about whatever you want. Although the main languages are English and Japanese, We accept every single language and country.
Everyone is welcome as long as you follow our code of conduct!

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