Selfie, ec 

Shout out to Grookey for being the best pokemon without even being in a released game yet

Coworker: He's done it again. "The Knife" keeps spraying axe all over the office.

Me, dipping my fingers in a tin of beans and gently dabbing it on my wrists as one would with a fine eau de toilette: Yeah honestly some people

Coworker, walking up to me at the water cooler: Oh that smells good, what is that is someone-

Me: Oh that's just my new fragrance. Do you like it?

Coworker: It is? It smells like-

Me and coworker simultaneously: Bean sauce?

Me, continuing: Yes, yes it is.

So i'm looking to curse a book? I'm reading an incredibly boring book for work and i would very much like to curse every copy of this book, if that's possible. Anyone know a good book curse? Just like a mild one? Make the reader stub their toe on a piece of hard furniture, that kinda thing?

Me: Time to get working!
My brain: Hey you know what we could do instead? Read through a lexicon on american thieves' cant from 1859!
Me: I'm gunna ease a big thing from this bingo-boy and fizzle before the frogs grab me

Avant-Garde? Isn't she the one who sang Dangerous Woman?

Am i really to believe this book? Are you cyber criminals really out there calling yourselves Journeyman Hackers?

Gunna start a secret underground forum for hackers, theftservices dot com

Boutta hire a botnet to get my posts out to a wider audience

There's a new worm in town, nerds
The infection vector? These mf hands

Book: Self contained and independent malware, such as Trojans or worms

Me, carefully poking an earthworm against the ethernet port of a computer: Give me the information, my son

I love reading books on cyber security for work as someone who has no clue about computer science, bcs like it just reads like y'all nerds just were trying to think of how to make your stuff sound as cool and sci-fi as possible

This, this right here, this is what a man, and an ally, looks like.

Revolutionizing the music industry by inventing an electric triangle, a synth that only plays one sound

Having a minecraft mid-life crisis by burning down my treehouse and making a nice modern house in its place

You, imbecile: Shopping for suits

Me, fucking ascended: People get buried in suits all the time, the ground is full of fancy clothing ripe for the picking

Just found out earlier today that Billie Eilish ish 17 years old and i am still shaken

Who let this edgy child make good music???

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Everyone is welcome as long as you follow our code of conduct!