Can you imagine getting this as an unironic gift. What would you do.

You can't take it out of the box, and you definitely couldn't donate it to anything. It just sits in the back of your closet until you furtively throw it in the trash

Capitalism: "Damn, we've run out of markets. There are no new products to make, every niche is full, everyone's needs are satisfied. What will we do?"
The Smalt guy: "Wait, wait... What if your salt shaker had MOOD LIGHTING?"

@Aleums take it apart. Finally something I don't care enough about to mind seeing the insides of

@SanfordianPhil This seems like the most constructive use of the thing. You might be ablke to remove the bluetooth speaker parts and put them into something else

@Aleums "haha yeah this is my kitchen speaker, where i store the salt,"

@Aleums cant wait for the smart toilet (do not at me if there is a smart toilet)

@aflightybroad Don't worry there is definitely not a smart toilet! Nobody could be THAT misguided.

@Aleums i regret to inform you there are several brands of smart toilet

@aflightybroad @Aleums yeah they are pretty common and my favorite part is that they are literally the internet of shit

@SanfordianPhil @Aleums someone else brought up japanese toilets and honestly none of the smart toilets my initial round of googling did live up to my expectations even a little. depressing.

@burgin @Aleums "The toilet bowl has a premist feature which is a light mist sprayed onto the dry bowl which helps make the surface more slippery."
oh yeah ok

@burgin @Aleums one of thse looks like a star wars droid and i will not say which

@norikawa @Aleums you know what i know about fancy japanese toilets but i never thought of them as "smart devices" in the same way just bc i didn't think they typically had wifi/bluetooth connectivity but

@whiskeysailor @Aleums for just 35 dollars you'll have every grain of slat you could possibly want delivered right to your plate

[Gets 3 billion in funding]

[loses 2.5 billion in the guest 6 months]

@Aleums if my salt shaker doesn't help me get laid than it can fuck off

@Aleums this is like the 18th smart salt dispenser I've seen.

@Aleums trembling with anticipation for some fucking sv dipshit to launch a startup for a smart shower head with a camera in it that's supposed to tell you when you're all clean and literally millions fall for it.

@radicalrobit @Aleums so far all the smart showerheads seem to just track how much water you're using which uhhhhhhhh ok i guess

@Aleums they are just so ernest about it.... like they raised money and def said "this is going to change the way we eat forever..."

@Aleums please don't post fake screenshots from the onion like they're real

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